Monday, December 5, 2016

COUNTDOWN TO THE HOLIDAYS DAY 24 KRAMPUS HATES CHRISTMAS!!


HEY GUYS, IT'S DAY 24 OF OUR COUNTDOWN TO CHRISTMAS AND TODAY MY GIRL GRACE IS HERE WITH HER REVIEW OF KRAMPUS HATES CHRISTMAS BY ANDI VAN! THIS IS AN AWESOME BOOK AND IT IS PART OF DREAMSPINNERS 2016 ADVENT CALENDER "BAH HUMBUG" SO LET'S CHECK IT OUT! 

Krampus Hates Christmas
Krampus Hates Christmas (2016 Advent Calendar - Bah Humbug) by [Van, Andi]
By: Andi Van
Release Date: December 1, 2016
Length:  35,955 words
Reviewed by: Grace
Price:  $3.99
Blurb
Karl Kringle hates the modern-day Christmas. He was born to be Krampus, but the Holiday Council refuses to let him help his brother Nick—aka Santa Claus—with the Naughty List until he finds his holiday spirit. To meet that challenge, he’s turned human and dumped in a strange apartment.

Lewis Weatherby loves the holidays and always has. Not only do his parents own a pumpkin patch and tree farm, he’s also inherited a Christmas-themed shop. All he wants from Santa is the man of his dreams, and the Big Guy might’ve just delivered. Lewis’s new neighbor Karl is gorgeous, sweet, and has a fantastic sense of humor—if his jokes about being Krampus are any indication.

Soon getting home is less important to Karl than what will happen when Lewis inevitably realizes the truth behind his jokes. He’s finally starting to understand the real joy of the season—now he just has to figure out how to hold on to it.

A story from the Dreamspinner Press 2016 Advent Calendar "Bah Humbug."
QUOTE
Review:
Krampus, otherwise known as Karl, has grown to hate Christmas due to the extra work and strain the Council continues to dump on his brother, Nick’s, shoulders.  And since they won’t let him help, he has grown more and more disgusted with the whole holiday.  In an effort to help Karl find his love of Christmas again, his brother in law Noel, sends him to California for a few months for some R&R, and maybe a chance of love as well.
Lewis can’t believe when the really big, really hot new neighbor moves in.  He’s so tired of the dating game and all of the dud dates he’s had recently, he’s ready to just call it quits on men.  He’d rather work with his family at the pumpkin and Christmas tree farm and run his Christmas store and leave the rest alone, but Karl makes him rethink his feelings on men, at least one man.
This story was cute, funny, sweet, snarky…. All of the feels I want in a Christmas story.  I enjoyed the foundation we received through the story on where the holiday ‘superheroes’ originated and developed.  There were some tears, ok maybe a few more than just some, but they were both sad and happy, with some joyful ones by the end.  The cast of characters in this story were very well done, and I still want to just grab Lizzie, er El now, Sam and Barb up and hug them tight, and hang out with Lewis, Karl, Jerry and Rimble.
This is definitely one of my favorite Christmas shorts.  I can’t wait to read more by Andi Van!       
Rating:
The 5 Krampus Ornament Rating, complete with the wrong hooves and crazy tongue.. hang on your tree or your horns….

HAHA GRACE IS SO ON POINT WITH THIS REVIEW, THIS BOOK IS AMAZING, AND I HAVE READ ANDI VAN AND THIS IS MORE OF THE SAME BRILLIANCE FROM THIS AUTHOR! HERE IS THE LINK SO YOU CAN ENJOY KRAMPUS FOR YOURSELF!
Excerpt:
“THAT’S SUCH bullshit,” Karl snarled to his brother as they stomped out of the council’s meeting room. “The same old fucking excuses every single year.” His hooves crashed against the marble floor with a resounding boom, and the dwarfs who were escorting them had to dodge out of the way before they become a gooey mess under the force of Karl’s steps. They glared at him, but he returned the glare with one of his own, and the dwarfs paled. It was something about the horns, he guessed. Or maybe the pointy teeth. Or just the fact that he was three times their height and could turn them into tomato paste on the hard floor.
“It’s not a big deal,” Nicholas said. “I’ve done this for how many centuries?”
Karl came to a screeching halt and turned his glare to his brother. “That’s not the point,” he rumbled, poking his brother in the chest, though he was careful to do it gently, despite his anger. “You shouldn’t be doing it at all. Hell, it works perfectly for us in the few parts of Europe they let me assist with. Why shouldn’t Krampus be able to help out jolly old Saint Nicholas in the United States too?”
Nicholas let out a mournful sigh, shook his head, and turned the full force of his disappointed gaze on his brother. Karl tried not to wince, but it was hard. He hated disappointing Nick.
“You know why,” his brother said. “You hate Christmas. You need to find your holiday spirit before they’ll ever let you help me.”
“Why are they even on the council instead of you?” Karl asked, his voice growing in volume in the hope that the puffed-up idiots in the other room would hear him. “They’ve left you all the damn heavy work. With every year you’re the one with more and more responsibilities. That damn rabbit doesn’t have to judge good or bad. He just drops off eggs and candy and hops away, no matter what kind of brats are on his list. Halloween’s become a night to cause trouble and get hyped up on sugar instead of a time to celebrate the thinning of the veil. But you? Oh no, you get to judge every single child who celebrates Christmas before going out of your way to make them happy. And even when you do, half the time those ungrateful kids whine about how you didn’t give them a damn pony. At least where I get to help you, the kids are afraid if they aren’t good, I’ll take their presents away.”
Nicholas rubbed his face and then dropped his hand to his side. “We’ve been over this,” he said softly. “You’ll get your chance.”
“It’s not about me, Nick,” Karl protested, his voice booming with his anger.
“I’m going home,” his brother said. “We’re not having this discussion again.”
“Nick,” Karl growled, but he stopped when Nicholas looked at him through narrowed eyes. “Fine,” he grumbled. “Tell that diva you married that I said hello.”
Karl was pleased to see Nick’s expression soften, and his brother nodded. “I will. I’ll call you later.”

Karl nodded and waited until his brother and his escorts were out of earshot and then turned around to look at the dwarfs who were still waiting to kick him out. He gave them a toothy grin, leaned down, and roared so loudly that half of them toppled over. The other half ran for it, and there was an odor that followed them out that suggested at least one of them had soiled themself. With a snicker Karl spun around and stomped toward the exit.
HEHE, I LOVE THIS BOOK! THANKS GRACE, FOR ANOTHER TERRIFIC REVIEW! SEE YOU GUYS NEXT TIME!!





There was an error in this gadget