Saturday, February 25, 2017

IMAGO BLOG TOUR STOP AND REVIEW


HEY GUYS, BELOW IS MY BLOG TOUR STOP AND MY GIRL AMY'S REVIEW OF IMAGO BY N.R. WALKER! I LOVE THIS BOOK SO LET'S SEE WHAT AMY THOUGHT! THERE IS ALSO BOOK INFO, A GIVEAWAY AND MORE! LET'S GET TO IT! 




Length: 45,000 words


Blurb

Nerdy, introverted genius lepidopterist, Lawson Gale, is an expert on butterflies. He finds himself in a small town in Tasmania on a quest from an old professor to find an elusive species that may or may not even exist.

Local Parks and Wildlife officer, Jack Brighton, is an ordinary guy who loves his life in the sleepy town of Scottsdale. Along with his Border collie dog, Rosemary, his job, and good friends, he has enough to keep from being lonely.

But then he meets Lawson, and he knows he’s met someone special. There’s more to catching butterflies, Jack realises. Sometimes the most elusive creatures wear bowties, and sometimes they can’t be caught at all.

Lawson soon learns there are butterflies he can’t learn about it in books. They exist only in a touch, in a kiss, in a smile. He just has to let go first, so these butterflies can fly.

Imago is the story of finding love, bowties, and butterflies.


LOOKS GREAT RIGHT? LET'S SEE WHAT AMY THOUGHT! 



I was so happy to read this book, I'm a huge fan of N.R. Walker's writing and this book was amazing!!  The cover of this book is beautiful and the story is just as beautiful.  

First we meet Jack Brighton who lives in Tasmania, a small town in Australia.  Jack loves living here, working for the Parks and Wildlife Services.  Though not many choices for his lifestyle, well none actually.  On his way back from Melbourne, he meets Lawson Gale who was on the same plane.  Not Jack's typical type but the nerdy sexy guy made Jack take notice.  

Lawson Gale is a lepidopterist, one who studies butterflies and moths.  He's in Tasmania looking for a species of butterfly that hasn't been identified.  

After a mix up with the rental agency, Jack offers Lawson a ride to Tasmania from the airport.   This one ride leads to a week of getting to know each other, working together and dinners together.   If Lawson finds the elusive copper butterfly, will he fly away from Jack back to Melbourne or will he feel the same pull and stay in Tasmania?  

I really enjoyed reading this book!!    The chemistry between Jack and Lawson is off the charts, they are taking it relatively slow, building that relationship. It's the butterfly kisses that will melt your heart.   

 

I give this book 5 Copper Butterflies!!!!  

I TOTALLY AGREE WITH AMY, AND THAT IS THE PERFECT QUOTE FOR THIS BOOK! BELOW ARE THE TOUR DATES FOR THE IMAGO BLOG TOUR, DON'T MISS ONE! 


February 25 - Foxylutely Books

Author Bio

N.R. Walker is an Australian author, who loves her genre of gay romance. She loves writing and spends far too much time doing it, but wouldn't have it any other way.

She is many things; a mother, a wife, a sister, a writer. She has pretty, pretty boys who she gives them life with words.

She likes it when they do dirty, dirty things...but likes it even more when they fall in love. She used to think having people in her head talking to her was weird, until one day she happened across other writers who told her it was normal.

She’s been writing ever since...

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THANKS FOR JOINING ME FOR MY BLOG TOUR STOP AND AMY'S REVIEW, THANKS AGAIN FOR A GREAT REVIEW AMY! DON'T YOU GUYS LEAVE BEFORE ENTERING THE AWESOME GIVEAWAY BELOW! SEE YOU NEXT TIME! 

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Tuesday, February 21, 2017

SNAPPED BLOG TOUR STOP AND PROMO!!



Retribution Runs Deep

HEY GUYS, I'M HERE WITH MY PROMO POST OF SNAPPED: THE OPPOSITES SERIES 3! IF YOU LOVE THIS SERIES THEN YOU ARE GONNA LOVE THIS BOOK! LOOK BELOW FOR BOOK INFO, LINKS, AND SO MUCH MORE INCLUDING A GIVEAWAY! ENJOY GUYS! 

The line between retribution and vengeance is often just as thin as the line between love and hate. 


Cillian feels his life was stolen from him and is out for revenge. Grieving and seeking retribution for the death of his twin sister, August is easy prey. Cillian latches onto his grief and feeds into it, using the Outkast as a weapon to strike out at the family that abandoned him. When August learns the truth behind his sister's death, everything changes.


Hector arrives at House Gaeland for a wedding, only to wind up in the middle of an unexpected war between brothers. He finds himself inexplicably drawn to an Outkast with hair as fiery as his temper. The immediate, intense, and mutual attraction stirs up an entirely different set of issues. To be together, August and Hector will need to thwart the most evil of plans and accomplish the most daring of rescues, all before Cirian follows through with his threat to drop August off the side of a cliff. 


The people of House Gaeland have endured much, and yet, there is more trouble on the horizon. A birth and a wedding are far too much happiness for the universe to allow, so to level the playing field, the devil must add his cards to the deck. Violence begets violence and Cirian is perfectly willing to take a dagger to his brother, if need be. Will he feel the same if the blood spilled belongs to someone much closer to his heart? 


Snapped is the third book in the Opposites series, the series must be read in order. It is an adult, dystopian majorly M/M series that encompasses all manners of relationships (including M/F and F/F). In this world logic is irrelevant, love is key, and things get broken—just ask Aiyan and Kaden.


*Warning* there is a brief mention of sexual assault, though not in detail.





Blog tour schedule...

February 20th
Two Book Pushers | Spotlight & Excerpt
O’Raven Chronicles | Spotlight & Promo
SiK Reviews | Review & Promo
Book Reviews, Virginia Lee | Review & Promo

February 21st
Bike Book Reviews | Review & Promo
Divine Magazine | Spotlight & Excerpt

February 22nd
Cathy Writes Romance | Review & Promo
Book Boyfriend Heaven | Spotlight & Promo
Molly Lolly | Spotlight & Promo

February 23rd
Love Bytes | Exclusive promo
Making it Happen | Review & Promo
Bayou Book Junkie | Spotlight & Promo

February 24th
MM Book Escape | This or That
Nic Starr | Dream Cast
Gay Book Reviews | Review & Promo

February 27th
EyesOnBooks' Next Favorite Reads | Review & Guest
post

February 28th
All in One Place | Spotlight & Promo
Triple A | Spotlight & Promo

A.O. Chika Book Blog | Spotlight & Promo




   Other books in the Opposites series   




Opposites
The Opposites series, book 1 
Amazon US | Amazon UK | Amazon AU | Amazon DE

Smashwords | iTunes

Also available on Audiobook: Amazon | Audible | iTunes





The Library 
An Opposites novella {book 1.5} 
Amazon US | Amazon UK | Amazon AU | Amazon DE | iTunes

Also available on Audiobook: Amazon | Audible | iTunes




Appearances
The Opposites series, book 2 
Amazon US | Amazon UK | Amazon AU | Amazon DE

Smashwords 

Available in Audiobook summer of 2017!




The Cellar 
An Opposites novella {book 2.5} 
Amazon US | Amazon UK | Amazon AU | Amazon DE | iTunes


Also available on Audiobook: Amazon | Audible | iTunes



About the Author...



A military brat born and raised at Ft. Benning Georgia; TM Smith is an avid reader, reviewer and writer. A Texas transplant, she now calls DFW her home. Most days she can be found curled up with a good book, or ticking away on her next novel.

Smith is a single mom of three disturbingly outspoken and decidedly different kids, one of which is Autistic. Besides her writing, she is passionate about Autism advocacy and LGBT rights. Because, seriously people, Love is Love!


Author links: Amazon || Smashwords || Website || Facebook || Twitter 


Giveaway...


Up for grabs are two prizes...

Grand Prize goodie bag is US only shipping and includes a signed paperback copy of either Opposites with The Library or Appearances with The Cellar, series inspired swag and an Author TM Smith image collage coffee mug.

Runner up is for International readers as well, a $20 Amazon or Barnes and Noble giftcard, winner's choice, to be delivered electronically at the end of the tour. 

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Monday, February 20, 2017

FIND ME RELEASE BLITZ POST AND REVIEW!



HEY FRIENDS, BELOW IS MY RELEASE DAY BLITZ POST AND REVIEW OF FIND ME: RENT ME SERIES #5 BY BRINA BRADY! I LOVE THIS SERIES AND THIS BOOK IS NO DIFFERENT, LET'S TAKE A LOOK! 





Buy Links: Amazon US | Amazon UK


Cover: Book Cover By Design


Length: 90,000 words


Rent Me Series

Rent Me (Book #1) Amazon US | Amazon UK

Own Me (Book #2) Amazon US | Amazon UK

Make Me (Book #3) Amazon US | Amazon UK

For Me (Book #4) Amazon US | Amazon UK 


Blurb


Dmitri and Brennen have been happily married for five years, raising their five year-old daughter. Brennen practices law and mob-free Dmitri works with his brother Mischa at their night club. Dmitri enrolls into some BDSM workshops with Master Ethan as his mentor.

An order from an old drug lord friend disrupts their lives. Brennen worries about Dmitri’s life, his law career, and the safety of Dominika. Antonio Cortez’s request takes them to Germany to fulfill Dmitri’s last obligation to his gangster friend.

Once they arrive in Germany, Dmitri plans to spend time with his husband in the evenings. During the day he and Mischa do Antonio’s bidding. Everything changes when an unexpected event rips their family apart.

Brennen meets many challenges as he tries to deal with his new responsibilities. To make matters more complicated, Dmitri's ex-wife Nika sues for custody of their daughter.


MY REVIEW: 



I LOVE THIS QUOTE FOR THESE TWO! HERE IS MY REVIEW: 

I was so happy to catch up with Dmitri and Bren and their family, and Brina didn't disappoint me at all! 

Dmitri and Brennen have been married for 5 years and they have their daughter and each other, but what will happen when outside forces threaten to pull them apart? Can these two work past their issues and stand together against those that threaten them and their family? Or will something happen that will threaten much more than their happiness? 

Of course I can't give you spoilers, but I can tell you that if you are a fan of these two you will adore this book as much as all the rest! Thanks Brina, for a brilliant addition to a brilliant series! 

                                                   the 5 chicken noodle soup rating :)

YOU KNOW I HAD A GOOD REASON FOR THIS RATING! GRAB THE BOOK ABOVE GUYS, YOU WILL LOVE IT! NOW FOR AN AUTHOR BIO AND SOCIAL LINKS FOR BRINA:

Author Bio

I am from Huntington Beach, Ca. I taught various subjects at a Continuation High School in Los Angeles, California for 27 years. I obtained a Bachelor of Arts Degree in history, Secondary Social Science Credential and a Master's Degree in Secondary Reading and Secondary Education from California State University, Long Beach. I also enrolled in some creative writing classes at UCLA. You can contact me at brinabrady@gmail.com. 


Connect with Brina Brady here:
http://brinabrady.wordpress.com
http://brinabrady.blogspot.com
https://www.facebook.com/brina.brady.3
https://twitter.com/BrinaBrady
http://www.pinterest.com/brinabrady/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/146904702344189/
I would love to hear from my readers, so please drop me a line.


THANKS FOR JOINING ME FOR MY RELEASE BLITZ POST AND REVIEW OF FIND ME, ENTER THE RAFFLECOPTER GIVEAWAY BELOW AND SEE YOU GUYS NEXT TIME! 

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Thursday, February 16, 2017

ARMOR RELEASE DAY REVIEW!!!


HEY GUYS, IT IS RELEASE DAY FOR ARMOR: A NOVELLA IN THE FIRSTS & FOREVER SERIES BY ALEXA LAND AND SURPRISE, IT RELEASED A DAY EARLY!!! YAY! LOOK BELOW FOR MY REVIEW AND THE LINK SO YOU CAN GRAB YOURS RIGHT NOW!! 




AHHH YES, THIS QUOTE IS SO TRUE FOR DANTE AND CHARLIE! HERE IS MY REVIEW: 


Armor
A Firsts & Forever Novella
by: Alexa Land
reviewed by: Becky

Dante Dombruso has always been his family’s armor. It’s his job to keep them safe. But he feels he failed them eighteen months ago, when a mysterious arsonist set a fire intended to wipe the Dombrusos off the map. Now Dante is driven to make things right, yet with each day that passes, the trail grows colder and his frustration increases. 

When a lead finally surfaces, Dante’s husband Charlie insists on joining the chase, even though they could be barreling into a potentially lethal situation. Charlie’s nothing like Dante, who spent his life in organized crime. How can Dante do his job if he’s totally focused on protecting the man he loves? And what will Charlie think of him once he sees just how far Dante’s willing to go to keep his family safe? But Charlie isn’t taking no for an answer. 

Time is running out. Can Dante find whoever was behind the attack before they strike again? Because next time, the Dombruso family might not make it out alive. 

This Firsts and Forever Series novella is part MM love story, part thriller, and is approximately 34,000 words in length. It contains graphic sex and explicit language, and is intended for adults only.






This is the perfect compliment to an amazing series! I love how Alexa tied up loose ends we have been wondering about for a while now, and boy did she do it in an amazing way! 

Dante has been looking for the attackers who have been MIA since the fire that nearly took out their whole family. Was someone close to him a part of it? If so what does Dante do about it? He is the protector of his family and has been since that terrible night so long ago, so he has to keep the family safe! 

When his husband Charlie refuses to be left behind when they get a lead, Dante has the added worry of keeping him safe, but Charlie may surprise him and prove that a man in love will do anything to keep his loved ones safe! 

This little book is full of twists and turns and of course antics only Nana can provide, so grab it today and dig in! Thanks Alexa, for an amazing story in an amazing series!

                                          the 5 A-Team rating :P (had to do it) 

HEHEHE I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO SEE WHY I DID THIS RATING! BELOW IS THE LINK SO GRAB ARMOR NOW IF YOU DON'T HAVE IT! 

AMAZON LINK

THANKS FOR JOINING ME FOR MY REVIEW OF ARMOR, I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT YOU GUYS THINK OF IT! SEE YOU NEXT TIME! 




                            

BE MINE PROMO POST AND REVIEW!!


HEY GUYS, I HAVE A NOVELLA BY FREY ORTEGA TODAY, AND YOU HAVE GOT TO READ IT! BELOW IS INFO, AN EXCERPT, MY REVIEW AND MORE FOR BE MINE, A VALENTINES NOVELLA BY FREY ORTEGA! YOU WILL LOVE TO READ THIS ONE ANY TIME OF YEAR TRUST ME! LET'S GET TO IT!!



a Valentine’s Novella
by: Frey Ortega

Jackson Darragh has the best Valentine's Day planned--dinner and romantic gesture included. All those plans blow up when his boyfriend suddenly breaks up with him. Broken and dejected, he goes to his neighborhood gay club to drown his sorrows in alcohol.
David Young didn't know what possessed him when he leaves his Mormon family abruptly for a life of total authenticity in the big city. Alone, his first taste of independence lands him at a gay club with no prospects, no roof over his head, only a future filled with uncertainty. All he has is the desire to live a life that is wholly his own.
A strange twist of fate and one conversation overhead through club music later, and David finds himself living with the kindhearted Jackson.
Now, one year later, Jackson is still hurting from his sudden break-up. David, who can't fight off his attraction for his friend any longer, is determined to make better Valentine's memories for Jackson. The more time that passes, the more Jackson wants to see the light come back in the brooding artist's eyes. He knows he has only to say those two magic words, and their lives change forever.
"Be mine."
-=-=-=-=-
Be Mine is a stand-alone friends-to-lovers gay romance novella with a HEA, no cheating, and no cliffhanger.

BEC'S REVIEW: 


BOY DOES JACKSON LEARN THIS LESSON, HERE IS MY REVIEW! 

I knew I would love this short story because of who wrote it, but I never knew it would be as entertaining as it was! Frey Ortega can sure pack a hell of a story into a few chapters! 

Jackson got his heart destroyed by Collin last Valentines day and he feels like he will never be able to give his heart away again, but as we all know you should never say never! 

With the help of some very colorful and endearing friends and the urging of his new roommate David, Jackson may just find something worth putting his heart on the line for! When it looks like David can finally break through Jackson's shell will seeing Collin again ruin all his hard work?

This is a great Novella and you will want more of all these characters just like I do! Thanks Frey, for a great little book no matter what the holiday! 

the 5 white gold band rating! 

I HAD A GREAT REASON FOR THIS RATING, AND TO FIND OUT WHAT IT IS GRAB THE BOOK FROM THE LINK ABOVE RIGHT NOW! LOOK BELOW FOR A SNIPPET ALSO! 

-=-=-=-=-

Story Snippet:
“Hey.”
David turned to look at a figure sitting nearby. He hadn’t seen the man from behind Sare, but he realized there was actually a man sitting there, with a good couple of shot glasses scattered around in front of him.
The strange, tipsy, borderline drunk man looked rather handsome. He was wearing a long-sleeved shirt with one of the buttons unbuttoned, and his hair was mussed, though David could see that he’d put some hair product of some kind in his dark, wavy, cocoa brown-colored hair.
He had the aquiline features of one of those angel statues David had seen. So handsome, if the drunk hadn’t looked like he was in repose. David’s cock even had a little twitch of a response, though he felt a little ashamed of that.
David’s first thoughts shouldn’t have been that he wanted to fuck a stranger in a bar, no matter that it was a status quo.
Overall, the stranger looked a little disheveled and stressed, but there weren’t any alarm bells ringing in David’s mind at first glance of him. In fact, if it weren’t for the grimace on the guy’s face, David might have been a stammering mess in the stranger’s proximity. He was never very good at talking to attractive people.
If the man beside him hadn’t looked like he’d been drinking to forget something painful, David would have tried to screw his courage to the sticking place—Shakespeare pun intended—and maybe he’d have tried to ask the stranger out on a date. He was already out, why not try to be courageous, right? Forget the fact that he didn’t have a home, or work!
Self-preservation told him not to do that, though. Years of having to hide his sexuality and his entire identity tended to do that.
“Hello,” David replied, and politely he added, “May I help you?”
“What you said back there, about leaving home,” the stranger asked. “Was any of that true?”
David blinked.
“Yes, that was all true,” he replied. “I figure I might stay at a motel for a couple of nights while I try to figure my situation out.”
“Do you want a place to live? I have an extra unit available in my building. I bought the entire place recently, so it’s barebones as shit, but we can work something out if you’re interested,” the man said, taking a swig of another shot of hard liquor.
“Is there a catch?” David asked, his voice clearly a little incredulous. He knew not to expect handouts or too much charity in the big city, but…was there something about his face that made people want to go out of their way to help him? Maybe it was just something about being gay? Or was this one of those serendipitous moments in time where things were just aligning incredibly perfectly?
“No catch, except for the fact that I only have an old mattress and some older stuff I’d much rather give to a guy who knows what he wants out of life, and I need a tenant anyway. There’s a lot of space I don’t need in my building,” the man replied. “I’m Jackson, by the way. Call me Jack.”
“I’m David Young. It’s nice to meet you.”
Jack grinned. “Boy, you’re real polite, aren’t you? It’s nice to meet you, David Young.”
David felt some heat in his cheeks at that statement. “It’s just how I was raised.”

NOW FOR AN AUTHOR BIO AND SOCIAL LINKS FOR FREY! IF YOU DON'T KNOW THIS AUTHOR LOOK HIM UP, I KNOW YOU WILL LOVE HIM AS MUCH AS I DO! 

-=-=-=-=-
Author Bio:
Frey Ortega writes erotic romance, primarily of the gay variety. He lives in what a friend affectionately calls “the south-easternmost part of Spain,” which is an archipelago called the Philippines. He’s a graduate of the Royal, Pontifical, and Catholic University in Manila, with a Bachelors of Science degree in Psychology. Primarily, he works as a writer, a novelist, sometimes a video game journalist, and overall a homebody who spends way too much time on the internet.

He loves writing about people, especially people of all different shapes, sizes and backgrounds, falling in love. You might also find him playing video games from time to time! His favorite ones are MMORPGs, and role-playing games in general (and not just the ones in the bedroom.)

Stalk Me!
Personal Website: http://www.freyortega.com/
Facebook Group: Frey’s Friends and Follies, https://www.facebook.com/groups/754579891359495/


THANKS FOR DROPPING BY FOR MY REVIEW AND PROMO POST FOR BE MINE, GRAB IT UP TODAY AND I WILL SEE YOU NEXT TIME GUYS! 


Friday, February 10, 2017

ARMOR COVER REVEAL, EXCERPT AND GIVEAWAY POST!


OH MAN AM I EXCITED ABOUT THIS NEXT POST! BELOW IS THE COVER, BLURB, EXCLUSIVE EXCERPT AND GIVEAWAY FOR ARMOR, A FIRSTS AND FOREVER SERIES NOVELLA BY ALEXA LAND DUE OUT NEXT FRIDAY! I KNOW I HAVE BEEN CHOMPING AT THE BIT FOR THIS ONE SO LET'S GET TO THE GOOD STUFF SHALL WE! 


THE COVER: 



HOW YUMMY...UH I MEAN BEAUTIFUL IS THAT?? :p (FACE IT GUYS, DANTE IS, IN FACT YUMMY!!) NOW FOR THE BLURB! 


Eighteen months ago, a mysterious arsonist set a fire intended to kill Dante Dombruso’s entire family. After a year and a half with no answers and no justice for his loved ones, the pressure’s getting to Dante as he searches desperately for clues and the trail grows ever colder. 
When a lead finally surfaces, Dante’s husband Charlie insists on being a part of the chase, even though they could be barreling into a potentially lethal situation. Charlie’s not like Dante, who spent his life in organized crime. No way should someone that innocent be in the middle of what’s about to go down. And what will Charlie think of him if he watches Dante unleash his inner demons? But Charlie isn’t taking no for an answer. 
Dante has always been his family’s armor, the thing that keeps them safe. But he feels he failed them the night of the fire, and now he’s driven to make things right. Whoever was behind the attack has to pay for what they did. And Dante needs to stop them before they strike again. Because next time, the Dombruso family might not make it out alive.


This Firsts and Forever Series novella is part MM love story, part thriller, and is approximately 34,000 words in length. It contains graphic sex and explicit language, and is intended for adults only.

THIS SOUNDS AMAZING RIGHT?? WAIT TILL YOU READ THE EXCERPT! HAHA NANA IS AT IT AGAIN! LET'S TAKE A LOOK:

Nana’s house came into view in just a couple minutes. The enormous Queen Anne Victorian was as subtle as my grandmother with its shimmering rainbow façade and matching rainbow stretch limo in the driveway. She was a rabid supporter of the LGBT community, which had started when I came out to her in my late teens. I’d known she’d be supportive, but I hadn’t expected her to take it to that level. In retrospect, I should have seen it coming. Nana never did anything halfway.
Her rainbow palace sported a new feature that evening, and Charlie chuckled and said, “Well, there’s your problem.” A pink, wooden sculpture of a huge cock jutted out the front door at a forty-five degree angle, making it look like the house had a hard-on. The thing had to be eight or nine feet long, and it was so wide that it filled the doorway. 
We let ourselves in through the wrought iron gate and met Nana’s husband Ollie and a couple teenagers on the front walkway. I’d naïvely assumed when my grandmother remarried that her new husband would take over a lot of the problem-solving that routinely fell to me. Instead, he was as bad as Nana, so now there were two feisty senior troublemakers in the family, instead of one. “Thanks for coming, boys,” he said with a sheepish smile. Ollie was stocky and a foot shorter than me, and he was dressed in a tuxedo and a pointy, gold party hat. He reminded me of a cartoon character. “Stana was sure we could get that shlong to fit through the door. Turns out, we were overambitious.”
Charlie asked, “Where’d it come from?”
“We went to a fancy end-of-the-year fundraising dinner tonight for the LGBT community center where we volunteer. They were auctioning off artwork made by some of the young people who visit the center, but nobody was bidding on King Dong. You know your grandmother, Dante. She took pity on the artist and dropped a grand on that thing, so he’d feel encouraged and whatnot.”
I asked, “How’d you get it home?”
“The sculptor and his friend delivered it in a big truck. He’s inside with Stana. We came out here to push while they pulled,” Ollie explained. 
I raised an eyebrow and said, “Because you thought it’d be nice in the living room?”
“We were gonna put it in the front yard, but of course the blowhard across the street immediately raised a fuss, so we thought we should bring it in before he absconded with it.” I grinned at the mental picture of Richard Huntington, the neighbor in question, trying to run down the street with that thing. He’d been a thorn in my grandmother’s side for years and was less than accepting about her various eccentricities. It was no wonder he’d had something to say about the giant junk. Ollie added, “I’m gonna go inside and see if I can do anything from there.” He hurried around the side of the house and disappeared through the gate.
I turned to the skinny, auburn-haired kid to my left and asked, “Are you here with the artist?” He was maybe eighteen or nineteen, had more freckles than I’d ever seen, and wore a green sweatshirt so baggy that it looked like four of him could fit in there.
The kid shook his head. “No man, I live here.”
“Since when?”
“Monday.” 
I tried not to frown at that, but pretty thoroughly failed. My grandmother and a friend of hers were in the process of opening a shelter for homeless LGBT teens and young adults in a converted firehouse, but they were bogged down in a sea of paperwork. In the meantime, Nana had begun finding strangers on the street and bringing them home with her until the shelter could accommodate them. For some reason, I was the only person who saw a problem with that. 
The other teen intervened at that point. That one I knew and liked. Darwin was dating my nephew Josh, and Nana had taken him in when she found out his family was less than accepting about the fact that he was transgender. Darwin said, “This is Emmet, Dante. Don’t worry, he’s a good guy.” Based on what, the fact that he’d gone two whole days without running off with Nana’s jewelry? 
An excited yip came from inside the house, and we could hear my grandmother yelling at her dog, “No, Tom Selleck! Get off my dick!” I grinned at that, despite myself.
Darwin said, “That wooden willie is the canine equivalent of catnip. We tried to put Tommy in the backyard, but he almost knocked the door down so we had to let him back in. I have no idea why he’s acting like that.”
Rather than offer theories about the particular set of glitches hardwired into that mutt, Charlie and I climbed the stairs to the porch, and both of us stared at the phallus for a moment while trying to decide on the best course of action. The one good thing I could say about it was that the artist had gone for cartoonish rather than anatomically detailed. The latter would have just been nightmarish, Jack and the Beanstalk meets Lorena Bobbitt, and my God, why was I thinking about that?
I grabbed the pink prick and tried to shove it through the doorway, but the thing didn’t budge. Not even a little. Next, I tried pulling it out, but that didn’t work either. I got it in a headlock and tried to wrestle it out, which made Charlie chuckle and snap a picture with his phone. I hid my grin as I shot him a look.
My grandmother called, “I don’t know what happened! We were all tugging on it real good, and then it just got jammed up!” 
I peered through the gap near the top of the doorway. Nana was wearing a pink, sequined gown and a rhinestone tiara. Beside her, a pair of long-haired, thoroughly confused-looking guys were engaged in a deep discussion about the peen predicament while one of them held the dog back by its collar. I interrupted them with, “Bill and Ted, one of you push on the base while I try to pull it out. It’s never going to fit through this doorway. I don’t even know how you got that much of it in.”
“Perseverance, dude.” That came from the blonder of the two, who handed the dog off on his companion, sat on the floor, and braced his sneakers against the base of the sculpture. “Alright, let’s do this thing!”
Charlie and Darwin joined me. All three of us wrapped our arms around it and pulled, and my husband said, “Who would have guessed we’d end up wrestling a monster cock this evening?”
“Nothing surprises me anymore,” I told him as I put my back into it. 
When all of that proved totally unsuccessful, the three of us straightened up, and Charlie looked at me and said, “You know what this needs, right?” 
 “Lube.” He and I said it in unison.
“Hang on,” my grandmother called. “I’ve got just the stuff!”
“Of course she does,” I muttered under my breath.
She hurried out of the foyer and returned a minute later with a huge bottle of anal lube, which she shoved through the gap at the top of the doorway. I started to ask, “Nana, why do you have.…” But then I decided I didn’t want to know, and said, “Never mind.”
She answered me anyway. “It was on sale! I went to the sex shop to pick up a case of rubbers for the boys, and I couldn’t pass up a bargain!”
“What boys?” 
Darwin muttered, “Don’t look at me.”
“Nana keeps a big bowl of condoms on the desk at the LGBT community center where she volunteers,” Emmet explained. “She also stuffs them in my jacket pocket whenever I tell her I’m going out. I mean, it’s nice she’s concerned, but come on. Do I really look like Studly McScoresalot?” The kid colored under his freckles.
I opened the lube and drizzled some on both sides of the doorframe, and Charlie said, “That’s just dripping off. You’re going to need to work it into the crack.” When I glanced at him, he grinned.
Sadly, he wasn’t wrong. I handed Charlie the bottle and pulled off my overcoat, because cheap lube and Italian wool were a terrible combination. I then tossed the coat over the porch railing and pushed up the sleeves of my sweater.
When I turned to face Emmet, the kid looked stricken. He took a step back from me, his wide, green eyes locked on the gun at my side. I held my hands up, trying to seem nonthreatening as I explained, “I have a permit to carry concealed.”

“Dude, I don’t care about the paperwork,” he stammered. “Why the hell are you carrying a gun?”

HAHA, NOW THAT'S A 'DICKY' SITUATION (SORRY SORRY, THAT WAS BAD, MOVING ON!) I KNOW YOU GUYS CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS BOOK, BUT THANK GOODNESS YOU WON'T HAVE TO WAIT LONG AS THE BOOK IS OUT NEXT FRIDAY! 

BE SURE TO COMMENT ON THIS BLOG POST TO GET IN THE RUNNING FOR A $25.00 AMAZON GIFT CARD! THE WINNER WILL BE CHOSEN BY RANDOM DRAWING ON MONDAY THE 13TH! GOOD LUCK GUYS AND THANKS FOR STOPPING BY! 









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